Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

When I first started delving into genetic genealogy I really didn’t have a lot of expectations.  I simply thought it would be a cool way to tie the paper trail and research that I had amassed with my genes.  As I explored and conversed more and more with others in the genetic genealogy community, I noticed that there was a common theme that occurred in African American circles…resistance from European descent DNA matches.  The incidents that occurred seemed unreal, especially in this day and age.  Some of the exchanges were pretty funny.  But yet and still there is some resistance from European descent testers to collaborate or even corroborate information with African descent testers.  Back in July 2015, I fell victim to the same rejection as my cohorts.  The note was crafted in what many would consider to be code language.  The message was crafted as not to offer offense or as not to give the appearance that there was some form of bias toward me; but I knew better.   Like all things, I handled it like a champ and moved on.   I won’t lie, it still kind of stings when I think about it.

To shed light on this situation, I thought I would compile some comments shared on social media that are representative of the responses that are received by testers of African descent.  The replies from European descent testers are in blue font, while the responses to those replies from African American testers are in red font.

“I don’t think we’re related.”

“DNA doesn’t lie.”

“My DNA profile says I am 100% European so I don’t see how we’re related.”

“Well history has taught us that our forefathers and mothers did engage in sexual activity with slaves and free people of color.  One of your ancestors, perhaps a 4^th or 5^th great grandparent sired children with a person of African descent.”

“I think you’re related to my husband’s family.”

“Okay.  I wasn’t aware that your husband’s username is XXXX.  Are those his results and his family tree?”

“Well I tested myself and it’s my tree, but I think you’re related to him.”

“My family didn’t own slaves.  They were poor farmers.”

“I can appreciate that sentiment, but a good portion of my X-DNA is European and according to Gedmatch we share X-DNA and autosomal DNA, which means the connection would come from a White female.”

“I’m only looking for close cousins and not distance relatives at this time.”

“Anything in the 2^nd cousin range is considered a close cousin and most people, unless they are adopted have information on close relatives.  23andme has placed you in the close relative range.”

“I think our connection is further back and is not worth me pursuing at this time.”

“How could we be related if I grew up in Alabama and you’re from Massachusetts?  This is a stretch.”

“I see that you are connected to Pat and Linda on Gedmatch.  I am as well.  There is definitely a connection.”

(Note that this particular match asked that the African American match to justify the relationship by providing a mountain of evidence before she would be willing to share anything.)

And the following is a personal favorite.  I couldn’t help but laugh at the exchange:

“I'm sorry, I am not from Africa. I no longer subscribe to DNA tests due to their inaccuracy and incompleteness. Thank you.”

“What do you mean you're not from Africa? It so happens that I not from Africa, either.”

“My people originated in America.”

“So, you're 100% Indigenous American?...”

“Ms. Sullivan I am not releasing my tree at this time due to numerous mistakes, but from experience I must say I have no confidence in this ethnic DNA matching.”

“We don’t have African Americans in our family.”

For some, reconciling America’s history with the present is still a sensitive subject.  We have to remember that we are not responsible for the actions of our ancestors and relatives be it good, bad or indifferent.  Sometimes the truth is ugly and inconvenient.  It shouldn’t deter us in our pursuits and it shouldn’t be used as an excuse to deny or hinder others in their pursuits.  After all, there is common ground.  We’re all in search of information that brings us joy and some level of satisfaction while contributing to a hobby and society.  African Americans are often at a disadvantage for information prior to the Civil War.  We want answers just like any other hobbyist.  Often times when paper trail fails us, we turn to DNA to fill in the gaps and those gaps happen to be European. 

On a positive note, I and along with countless others have received positive responses from our European descent DNA cousins.  Some of us have even met our European descent DNA cousins in person.  Some of us have collaborated on materials such as blogs and books by bringing two families together and bridging the gap.  We understand that a lot of DNA cousins from all walks of life and ethnicities may not ascribe to the kumbaya philosophy of collaboration and would rather take a more distant approach, but essentially this is what genealogy is all about.  It’s about knowledge.  It’s about history.  It’s about understanding the world and creating a story.  It's about bringing people together.  It would be my hope that everyone who decides to take the leap to swab a cheek or spit in a tube would be more open to additional possibilities and putting in more effort to understand the correlation between genetic and traditional genealogy and between genealogy as a whole and history.  Let’s try to gain understanding together.  Let's be great together.